Valentine’s nears; strengthen marriage

In “Hedges: Protective Walls Insuring Good Marriages,” or as Dr. Jerry Jenkins simply calls his best-selling book, “Hedges,” it tells how you should love your marriage enough to protect it.

From his book, here some great thoughts as we head into Valentine’s Day:

• Even the strongest marriage is in danger today if proper “hedges” are not in place. The biblical basis for this is I Cor. 10:13, Ps. 89:40, Job 1:10, John 8:11.
Most of the above passages are translated, “Flee lust and lustful thoughts, run even!” This not a matter of work, study or even prayer — just run, flee to the hills. “Just flee, get away,” reads 2 Tim. 2:22.

• “Now God made a hedge around Job, his household, around all he had on every side,” reads Job 1:10.

• We must recognize our weaknesses and not live in denial.

• When by oneself alone in a motel, tell the manager to lock out the porn and X-rated channels.

• In your own privacy, keep pictures of your wife and children and be accountable to a friend. Proudly display your family when away from home with pictures in your billfold.

• Never make plans in work or play to be alone with other women; only two can be too much close company, and three can be security.
It’s time to “put on brakes” when temptations arise.

Ask yourself:

• Have you been too busy to enjoy at least one evening per week with wife and children?

• Have you been too busy to be alone with God?

• Have you been thinking you deserve more attention?

• Would you not want wife or children to know what you read or look at?

• Has the romance in your marriage seemed to be fading?

• Have you been fantasizing about an illicit relationship?

• Have you or a lady friend begun to flirt by word, touch or eye contact?

Don’t deceive yourself enough to think God is not listening or looking.

Here are some Valentine’s Day tips:

• Hide notes all over the house with your vows broken down such as, “I will keep … ” (freezer),  “you unto …” (garage) and so on and at the end place a special card and invitation to go out, if only for hot chocolate. (With each station, don’t forget to tell her where to go next – the car, bedroom and so on.)

• Call her on the phone or send her an e-mail and recite your vows in your version — wow!

• Begin now to write a romantic letter, which I bet you haven’t done in a long while.

• Plan to get out some of your old love letters and read them to each other.

• One fellow wrote, “I love you,” in twigs so his wife could see it in front yard when arriving home.

(Guest columnist Doug Farmer is the director of Camp Shenandoah Springs in Haywood and is a Madison County School Board member. Contact him via e-mail at .)